“I’ll do anything, just grant me a few more years”
It’s not unusual to bargain, but it seldom works…
This stage is not just for terminally ill people who are coping with the inevitability of death and with gradual loss of mental faculties before death. Bargaining is a usual part of the process. If you weren’t religious or thinking of God, you are now.
For me there was no bargaining. My faith in God allowed me to believe that God has a purpose in my life, if for nothing else, then to show how it is possible to live positively with Lewy Body Dementia.
The Bargaining Process
The bargain generally entails a “payment” by someone in exchange for a postponement of the sentence, or a fulfillment of last wishes. Most bargains are about things like pain, whether physical or emotional. My bargain with God; if it is a bargain; was to ask that with whatever time I have left, and with whatever mental abilities I can muster to serve him, to help others in need, and to walk the life of a belief in Jesus and his teaching. I will only know if God wants me to do what I can, as long as I can, after it is over.
Bargaining Can Lead to Guilt
It is important to remember that far too often, guilt comes with bargaining. People often go down the path of “What if…” or “If I only…”, finding fault in themselves and the things they have done, or not done. This is normal, but it is so important to leave the past if you are going to chart a new tomorrow.