I look back at my day and I am so often disappointed in what I got done. With memory problems (dementia) my processor is just not as fast as it used to be, and the result is I do far less. I know it is all about expectations, but it still gets to me.
So many people are impressed with what I can accomplish, unfortunately few see how fast I am paddling under the water. The real problem with this is I am setting myself up for failure. Simply because I don’t lower my expectations.
What a better day it would be if I simply celebrate that I am moving forward on the things I find are important. The last part of the sentence is critical.
“Moving forward on the things I feel are important”.
Part of my Moving to Acceptance of living with Dementia is refining what is important to me. See Finally – Moving Forward for how I changed my focus on things which mater and that I can do.
I’ll bet I’m not alone with having expectations that are too high. Sound familiar to you? So many reasons, we find limitations with age, health (physical or mental or both) etc. and yes, I can hear those who say no we need to plow through these problems, endure the pain, suffer, etc. But let me ask you, when you do this are you enjoying it, are you able to be present in the moment, when you look back on what you do you remember, the endurance or the joy?
Life is about finding joy, finding purpose, not seeing how far you can walk or run, or endure. Even if it was fun at the end to what purpose are you doing these things?
Bottom line. Set your expectations realistically, and simply focus on “Moving Forward” on what matters.
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