Getting to Acceptance
In this stage you cease your fight against fate, letting go of all personal battles with one’s past and surroundings. At this point, you are able to see and express the various feelings experienced in the previous stages and can come to terms with mortality and with the needs of your loved ones. Remember, they are suffering too.
Gradually, words are replaced by soft touches and tender glances, and you start to realize just how lucky and blessed you are. Gone are painful emotions, I have relinquished the fight against the pain of what I thought would be, which will not happen.
In this stage I felt exhausted I slept two time a day sometimes for 2-3 hours and preferred to not be bothered with affairs of the world. Acceptance of this situation takes patience and time but remember it’s short.
In Stephens Ministry we learned that a majority of people arrive at this stage, some too early, they skip a step or don’t give it adequate time, so a few individuals continue to struggle against death and to deny it. They will not manage to attain the peace that comes with accepting the reality of the situation.
A website call Healthline helped me to realize it is important to distinguish between despair and surrender from peace and acceptance.
This Process is very personal, it should not be rushed. It is important to keep in mind that not everyone goes through all stages of grief, and certainly not all people go through the stages in the same order. For some people, certain stages may last only hours others much longer. I also found myself moving back and forth through stages I had already experienced.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to grief. What is important to remember, is that every stage is legitimate. As hard as it is, going through these stages takes time to grieve and cope. Most of all is the need for love, patience and understanding.
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