I know the day will come when I can no longer be in control of my situation, and maybe my thoughts. But for now, I can own my situation. There is no one to blame, no regrets, no sadness, only determination to make the best of each day until then.
We all put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get things done, to achieve the goals we have, and to please others. But what if circumstances change like you’re losing your sight or your hearing, or you have been diagnosed with a terminal disease, or worse you have loved one who has one of these things happen to them.
I said, I would spend some time writing down my list of ducks. I quickly discovered that at the beginning of my list, my ducks were mainly the things that I wanted to do. As I thought through the rest, of the list I realize there were lots of other things that I needed to include. In the end, I ended up with a flock of ducks.
I think to most of us the challenge is we know we don’t have all of our ducks in a row, especially as we age, we can feel things are not quite like they used to be. But is this wisdom that comes with age or is the real question what are the right duck to have?
After acceptance it is important to move forward. Apathy is as bad as depression. Finding a purpose is the critical next step.
Whether we recognize it or not, we are all reflections of each other. This is why you see so many posts about surrounding yourself with good people, or people that you would like to be with. Why? because their reflections shine on you, and you will pick up on it.
In this stage you cease your fight against fate, letting go of all personal battles with one’s past and surroundings. At this point, you are able to see and express the various feelings experienced in the previous stages and can come to terms with mortality and with the needs of your loved ones.
This Stage focuses on a deep sense of loss, which is felt in varying degrees from person to person. Depression replaces the anger and the attempts at bargaining. With it comes a forlorn thought of the future, for some a feeling of guilt, or shame of not doing the things that matter, failure and regret.
The Bargaining Stage is not just for terminally ill people who are coping with the inevitability of death and with gradual loss of mental faculties before death. Bargaining is a usual part of the process. If you weren’t religious or thinking of God, you are now.
Being diagnosed with Dementia challenges each of us. Most people can’t continue denying it for very long. Denial soon gives way to feelings of anger, rage, jealousy, and hatred.